Championing Fathers, Supporting Boys

By Alistair Strathern MP

Across Britain, too many men and boys are struggling. Boys are falling behind girls at every stage of education and men die, on average, four years younger than women - not to mention that our paternity leave is some of the least generous in Europe.

In speaking to organisations, like the Fatherhood Institute, I have been struck by how clearly the evidence speaks. Involved fathers are good for children's outcomes — their development, their mental health, their life chances. And yet our public services, our parental leave system, and our broader culture around parenting still too often treat fathers as secondary figures, or worse fails to engage with them at all.

As progressives we must be proud of our record of fighting for gender equality - including outlawing sex discrimination, enforcing equal pay, and maternity rights - and there is plenty more to do on these and more. But there’s no getting away from the fact that we have not always found the right language to address and champion the concerns of fathers on their own terms too, whether empowering them to be the best dads they can be.

In many communities, well paid jobs and community spaces have disappeared, leaving many men facing the loss of a sense of purpose. Roles that once gave many men a sense of identity and status have eroded in recent years, without always giving clear positive alternatives.

My colleagues and I set up the Labour Group for Men and Boys to do just that. Our aim is to build a progressive politics that better represents men and boys, and by doing so strengthens equality and opportunity for everyone.

When we fail to represent and speak to men’s real experiences it leaves a vacuum - and there are many bad actors eager to fill that. Nearly two thirds of young British men now consume content from online figures promoting a version of masculinity built on dominance and the idea that women’s gains have come at men’s expense. Of course, not all of those young men will take on those views they see online, but a growing number are being drawn to such ideas that reject values of equality and mutual respect.

It is crucial that children have trusted adults they can talk to about difficult issues like relationships, self-esteem and their mental health, as they work out their own views. It’s why positive male role models outside of just father figures are so important. And it’s why as a group we have backed the Lost Boys Taskforce’s ask to establish a Trusted Adult Guarantee. Ensuring that the adults interacting with children every day, like football coaches and teaching assistants, are equipped with the training and time they need to ensure children who confide in them feel heard and supported.

But we must give parents all the support they need to build strong relationships inside the home too. With just two weeks of paternity leave, fathers are at a real disadvantage. Dads who work for themselves get even less - with no rights to the allowance payments afforded to self-employed mothers. Even parents with the most generous employers and shared parental leave schemes often miss out as they struggle to navigate a complex and bureaucratic system.

The men I speak to in my constituency want to be equal partners who are present for their children. They want to do school runs and bedtimes and the unglamorous, irreplaceable work of being a parent. But too many of them face a system that wasn't designed with them in mind — workplaces that don't support flexible working, parental leave entitlements that are an afterthought, children’s spaces that direct everything at mums, leaving many dads wondering whether they will be welcome at local stay-and-plays.

Progressive efforts to champion fatherhood and tackle this then must be the antithesis of arguments that seek to row back on the gains of mothers or undermine gender equality. Instead, we need to be systematically identifying the barriers to men being active and positive partners and role models for their children, and relentlessly drawing political focus onto addressing them.

Through the Labour Group for Men & Boys, we are creating a forum for action on this and more. Connecting with organisations working on issues across fatherhood and relationships, men’s health, education, and belonging. Our group welcomes both male and female MPs, because our goal is to reflect the full diversity of men and boys across the UK - and those who love them.

I’m proud that when we launched formally in January, we were joined by the Deputy Prime Minister, David Lammy and we will continue to engage the government as they work towards the UK’s first summit on the challenges facing men and boys. In the meantime, we will continue to be out in our communities - from our walks-and-talks about mental health, to dads meetings in the pub to talk about paternity and childcare, and reading sessions with boys in schools.

We will be listening to their concerns and amplifying their voices. For too long, too many men and fathers haven’t felt seen or supported by progressive politics on their own terms. We’re all worse off for it, and together the Labour Group for Men and Boys is determined to play our part in putting that right.

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This is a guest blog post written by Alistair Strathern MP. He is the Labour MP for Hitchen. With others, Alistair Strathern launched the Labour Group for Men and Boys to bring together MPs and civil society groups working on a whole host of issues from men’s mental health to paternity leave.