Questions we have been asked include:

‘Father wants his name on birth certificate; partner says no’
‘I am bankrupt – I have no rights in court – I want that publicised’
‘Wife wants to move out and take child – what can I do?’
‘Wife wants divorce; what are my rights re children?’
‘My son’s ex insists he pay for flights to Scotland for contact visits – he can’t
afford these’
‘My pregnant girlfriend has been stealing money from my bank account. What rights do I
have?”

1) Please remember: It is very damaging for children when their parents go to court. Their stress levels have been measured by researchers and are as high as the stress levels of children who are being put into foster-care. So avoid court if you can.

Mediation, where parents are helped to reach agreement, can be fantastic – and usually results in both parents feeling more satisfied and fathers seeing more of their children. Telephone the Family Mediators Association (tel: 0117 946 7062) or National Family Mediation (tel: 0117 904 2824) to find a mediation service local to you

Centre for Separated Families: Email: advice@separatedfamilies.org.uk or contact Research & Information Worker (Steve Millett). Tel: 01904 610321 Fax: 01904 672491. http://www.separatedfamilies.org.uk

Families Need Fathers: Helpline 0300 0300 110 (manned 6pm-10pm); email support: fnf@fnf.org.uk; website: http://www.fnf.org.uk. Regular meetings in some localities. The website has useful info & a list of local FNF support groups where solicitors sometimes come and give free advice

Parentline Plus can also give useful information and help you sort out issues before you rush off to an (expensive) lawyer:
• free telephone helpline 0808 800 2222
• free textphone 0800 783 6783
free email advice service: https://secure.synergy-communications.co.uk/parentline/contact/contact-form.php
2) Only when you have spoken with at least one of the organisations listed above and explored mediation and other methods of communicating with your child’s mother (perhaps a “neutral” friend can help you both) should you think about “reaching for a lawyer”. Then you can try:

• Families Need Fathers: Helpline 0300 0300 110 (manned 6pm-10pm); email support: fnf@fnf.org.uk; website: http://www.fnf.org.uk. Regular meetings in some localities. Members sometimes know good solicitors and the website has useful info & a list of local FNF support groups where solicitors sometimes come and give free advice

• Resolution (formerly known as the Solicitors Family Law Association): Provides lists of local solicitors experienced in family law work. Look on website: http://www.sfla.org.uk/find_member.php or write to P.O. Box 302, Orpington,Kent BR6 8QX (enclose a stamped addressed envelope). Tel: 01689 850227, or 0345 585671 (charged at local rate) or email: info@sfla.co.uk or look in Yellow Pages under ‘Solicitors’ for box listing local SFLA solicitors

• Citizens’ Advice (formerly Citizens Advice Bureaux): Should know any local low-cost legal centres. Look in the phone book for the nearest CAB or telephone 020 7833 2181 (for referral to local branches and to answer basic questions). Also look at their website http://www.adviceguide.org.uk