Questions we have been asked include:

‘Mother will only allow father to see child a few hours a week’
’16-year-old daughter has broken off contact; father wants help to find out why’
‘Single dad with supervision order being denied contact with his child’
‘Ex-girlfriend charging him £200 per week to see child’
‘My girlfriend is pregnant with twins. We have split up and she is now refusing me
access to my babies when they are born. What rights do I have?’
‘Father has residence; child now wants to live with mother’
‘Homedad now split from partner; both want residence of children’
‘Child has been taken away’
‘Partner has disappeared with children, including one child “registered” with
the father’
‘I have looked after my daughter (now aged three) on my own since her birth.
Her mother has now taken her. What can I do?’

1) Please remember: It is very damaging for children when their parents go to court. Their stress levels have been measured by researchers and are as high as the stress levels of children who are being put into foster-care. So avoid court if you can.

Mediation, where parents are helped to reach agreement, can be fantastic – and usually results in both parents feeling more satisfied and fathers seeing more of their children. Telephone the Family Mediators Association (tel: 0117 946 7062) or National Family Mediation (tel: 0117 904 2824) to find a mediation service local to you

Centre for Separated Families: Email: advice@separatedfamilies.org.uk or contact Research & Information Worker (Steve Millett). Tel: 01904 610321 Fax: 01904 672491. http://www.separatedfamilies.org.uk/index.html

Families Need Fathers: Helpline 0300 0300 110 (manned 6pm-10pm); email support: fnf@fnf.org.uk; website: http://www.fnf.org.uk. Regular meetings in some localities. The website has useful info & a list of local FNF support groups where solicitors sometimes come and give free advice

Parentline Plus can also give useful information and help you sort out issues before you rush off to an (expensive) lawyer:
• free telephone helpline 0808 800 2222
• free textphone 0800 783 6783
free email advice service: https://secure.synergy-communications.co.uk/parentline/contact/contact-form.php

2) Only when you have spoken with at least one of the organisations listed above and explored mediation and other methods of communicating with your child’s mother (perhaps a “neutral” friend can help you both) should you think about “reaching for a lawyer”. Then you can try:

• Families Need Fathers: Helpline 0300 0300 110 (manned 6pm-10pm); email support: fnf@fnf.org.uk; website: http://www.fnf.org.uk. Regular meetings in some localities. Members sometimes know good solicitors and the website has useful info & a list of local FNF support groups where solicitors sometimes come and give free advice

• Resolution (formerly known as the Solicitors Family Law Association): Provides lists of local solicitors experienced in family law work. Look on website: http://www.sfla.org.uk/find_member.php or write to P.O. Box 302, Orpington,Kent BR6 8QX (enclose a stamped addressed envelope). Tel: 01689 850227, or 0345 585671 (charged at local rate) or email: info@sfla.co.uk or look in Yellow Pages under ‘Solicitors’ for box listing local SFLA solicitors

• Citizens’ Advice (formerly Citizens Advice Bureaux): Should know any local low-cost legal centres. Look in the phone book for the nearest CAB or telephone 020 7833 2181 (for referral to local branches and to answer basic questions). Also look at their website http://www.adviceguide.org.uk